If I
had to pick one rule or principle to live by for the rest of my life, it would
be to run my own race. There are constant outside expectations and external
distractions in life. We are burdened by expectations and opinions of our
friends, family, bosses, co-workers, and society – images we see on tv, in
movies, and in ads. With the countless outside voices that infiltrate our
minds, it’s hard to differentiate between what we truly want and what we’re
chasing to please or keep up with others.
On top
of that, we’re so busy and our lives are so fast-paced that we don’t take the
time to ask why. Why do I want to buy a four-bedroom house instead of
continuing to rent a 2 bedroom apartment? Why do I want a promotion? Why do I
want to make more money? When I started asking these questions a few months
ago, I struggled to find good answers. I want a promotion to make more money,
buy that house, and increase the balance of my savings account.
In addition, after 10 years of being an actuary, I should be at the next level. Some of my friends and co-workers who have been actuaries for a similar number of years are one or two promotions ahead of me. When I walk around my neighborhood and look at the beautiful homes, I imagine living in one of those houses. Owning a beautiful home in Chicago’s Lincoln Park neighborhood would make me feel happy and successful. I have friends who own houses and I’m 30 now so I should own a house. These aren’t very compelling reasons for sacrificing, striving, and working hard for my goals.
In addition, after 10 years of being an actuary, I should be at the next level. Some of my friends and co-workers who have been actuaries for a similar number of years are one or two promotions ahead of me. When I walk around my neighborhood and look at the beautiful homes, I imagine living in one of those houses. Owning a beautiful home in Chicago’s Lincoln Park neighborhood would make me feel happy and successful. I have friends who own houses and I’m 30 now so I should own a house. These aren’t very compelling reasons for sacrificing, striving, and working hard for my goals.
INSPIRING
DREAMS
There
was something about turning 30 that made me reflective about the direction and
meaning of my life. What should my goals be for the next year? The next 10
years? Am I progressing through my life in the right direction? Am I adding value
and improving the lives of others in ways that are meaningful?
On my birthday, I went to a coffee shop to slow down and tackle these big questions. Fueled by caffeine and anticipation, I set out to honestly answer the following questions:what would I do with my life if I had 1 year to live? What would I do with my life if I had 10 years to live? What would I do with the rest of my life if I had no fear of failure?
On my birthday, I went to a coffee shop to slow down and tackle these big questions. Fueled by caffeine and anticipation, I set out to honestly answer the following questions:what would I do with my life if I had 1 year to live? What would I do with my life if I had 10 years to live? What would I do with the rest of my life if I had no fear of failure?
I put
pen to paper and took about 15 minutes to answer each of these questions. I let
my stream of consciousness flow through to the paper. The answers in that
notebook were deep and personal. They also really shocked me. The whys in those
answers were meaningful, compelling, and inspiring.
If the
whys aren’t compelling enough, then your efforts and dedication to your dreams
will be average and uninspiring. When your dreams get you deeply excited,
you’ll meet your obstacles with much more energy and resourcefulness.
“He who
has a why to live can bear almost any how.” Friedrich Nietzsche
TRUE
SUCCESS
In the
last 10 years, I never sat down to really think about what I wanted from my
life. I was too busy achieving, earning accolades, and racking up
accomplishments as if I was playing a video game. I was always thinking about
how to get to the next level in life. On my birthday, I found my dreams and
passions right there, staring at me in the form of my ugly handwriting. This
was the first step towards running my own race.
Success
isn’t about making more money or accumulating possessions. Instead, success is
about lowering the volume of the external distractions and listening to your
intuition and inner voice. From that frame of mind, you can determine your
dreams, passions, and values as well as how you can achieve them. After you
clarify what you want comes the most difficult part of the journey. True
success is making decisions and taking steps every day that lead you closer to
your ideal life.
DEFEAT
YOUR INNER CRITIC
When you’re motivated and fired up, it’s easy to take steps towards your dreams; you’re riding a wave of adrenaline and hope. It’s like walking on a rainbow of great energy and excitement (maybe you’re even riding a unicorn). However, that motivation and spark will wane and even disappear at times. What happens when your inner critic starts yelling at you all the reasons why you’ll fail?
Your inner critic will tell you to take safe route, follow the herd. It will say your dreams are unrealistic and out of your grasp, that you’re not good enough, or you don’t have the credentials or skills to be successful. It takes courage and perseverance to acknowledge your inner critic while continuing to take steps towards your ideal life, trust the process, and focus on overcoming the obstacles in front of you.
We all have unique backgrounds and experiences as well as unique wiring of our neurons. Although there are billions of people in the world, there is not another person just like you or me. So why do we copy others and take their goals and dreams as our own? We should find our dreams and be protective of them. We should write down our goals and the whys related to them. Then, we should look at them every day. Twice a day. That way, we’ll inoculate ourselves from following the path of others.
When you’re motivated and fired up, it’s easy to take steps towards your dreams; you’re riding a wave of adrenaline and hope. It’s like walking on a rainbow of great energy and excitement (maybe you’re even riding a unicorn). However, that motivation and spark will wane and even disappear at times. What happens when your inner critic starts yelling at you all the reasons why you’ll fail?
Your inner critic will tell you to take safe route, follow the herd. It will say your dreams are unrealistic and out of your grasp, that you’re not good enough, or you don’t have the credentials or skills to be successful. It takes courage and perseverance to acknowledge your inner critic while continuing to take steps towards your ideal life, trust the process, and focus on overcoming the obstacles in front of you.
We all have unique backgrounds and experiences as well as unique wiring of our neurons. Although there are billions of people in the world, there is not another person just like you or me. So why do we copy others and take their goals and dreams as our own? We should find our dreams and be protective of them. We should write down our goals and the whys related to them. Then, we should look at them every day. Twice a day. That way, we’ll inoculate ourselves from following the path of others.
WHAT
WILL YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE?
We can
then go down our own path towards what is interesting and inspiring to us.
Which path are you taking? I’m taking the path that interests me. I’ll lose my
way again and veer onto someone else’s path. I hope that when that happens, I
look at the dreams I wrote in my notebook and take the necessary steps to
return to my own path.
I
encourage you to take time to consider your path and where it’s leading. A
great place to start is to answer the 3 questions I asked myself about the next
year, 10 years, and rest of my life; I found this to be incredibly valuable and
clarifying.
