Does
anyone recall exactly when we grew up? I’m guessing not, since it was
probably gradual. We can count our blessings for that.
So not
when, but how? How did we “grow up?” How did we go from carefree
youths, who could make a fun game out of any boring situation, to low-energy
adults who need Netflix to escape every night? What happened?
What’s the matter?
There
are different kinds of “growing up.” We all mature and change – our
knowledge, attitudes, and viewpoints will differ as we add to our life
experiences. In some cases, our attitudes will stay the same as our life
experiences confirm and validate them.
Some of
this growth is positive. At the age of thirty-three I am more comfortable
in my own skin than I’ve ever been, and I’m able to express myself to others as
clear as ever. I enjoy a higher quality of life because of this.
This has been positive growth.
Other
kinds of growth are “negative” (which I put in quotes because many wonderful
things come from “negative” situations). Often in matters of trust, we
experience negative growth. As we grow older, we rarely seem to expand
our trust in life and in others – more likely, we contract it. And guard
it. How many things in your life do you trust more now than you did as a
child?
To
kids, it’s all mysterious how life happens. Food shows up in the fridge,
teachers show up at school, Dad goes to the ATM and takes money out whenever he
needs it. It’s always there. Children, for the most part, grow up
trusting that they will be provided for, and they live freely as a result.
What
happens when you become an adult? At some point, or likely at several
points, we trust life less and less. Instead of going about everyday
thinking that we’ll always have a roof over our heads and food in the cabinets,
we begin to fear that we won’t. Why? Because it’s not mysterious
anymore as to how the food and roof get there. It’s us that does those things.
Our
ability to provide for ourselves depends not just on us, but on a complicated
and dynamic world. As the world changes, we feel threatened by
that. What if the changes prevent us from filling our fridge? Or
paying the rent?
We
don’t see a world of opportunities, we see a world of threats. We’re
essentially animals in the jungle, only it’s 2015 and not 50,000 BC. It’s
difficult, if not impossible to feel joy if we’re constantly evaluating and
evading threats. Hence our nights on the couch in front of Netflix,
giving our brains a break from manning the guard towers.
It
doesn’t have to be like this. Can we just trust in life to provide for
us? I’m not saying to kick our feet up and stop going to the office every
day. What I’m saying is to trust that one way or another they’ll be a
roof over our head and food in our cabinets. Can we? Would we?
What is
stopping us? The key to living in a state of trust is answering that
question. What is blocking us, what is preventing us from expressing that
kind of trust in life? Our upbringing? Our life experiences and
observations? Genetics? Do we just not want to? Do we enjoy
being afraid? Yes, some people do. In fact, a lot of us do.
Everybody has a different answer.
I
propose that the default state of life is well-being and joy. And that we
can experience more of it when we remove the blocks that we put in the way. By blocks, I
mean thoughts that don’t match up with joy and well-being.
When
our minds, conscious and unconscious, are filled with fearful and negative
thoughts, our doors to living peacefully and joyfully are closed. The
natural well being of life gets as far as those fears and stops before we ever
get to experience it.
Close
your eyes and consider for a moment what life would be like if you truly, truly
trusted that food, shelter, and clothing would never be a concern – that it
would always be there one way or another. That you’ll always end up in a
warm, safe, comfortable bed every night.
How
does it feel? Is there a contrast between how that feels and how you
normally feel? If so, it means you’re normally afraid to some degree that
you won’t eat or have shelter and clothing.
If we
choose to trust in life and its wisdom and processes, we will feel less
stressed. We may find we have more energy because we’re not wasting it
wrestling with fears (holding fears in our minds does wear
us out, since it takes effort to block the natural joy inherent in life).
We may find we enjoy our daily activities more and in a different way, and
begin to redefine what is truly meaningful for us.
Finally,
if we fully embrace and live in this renewed world of trust – we may, we just
may – feel like kids again.
ARTICLE SOURCE: http://theselfimprovementblog.com/self-improvement/featured/its-a-matter-of-trust/
